once ler x rico
by Jean Junior
Summary: once ler wants to marry rico...gASP. O:


Once ler was likE. The best soldier evelr ike he can do anything. ANYTHGIN. Like u want him to kill 10 titan in 2 sec? he can do et. He do it in one sec even. He even better then levi ok. So when once ler say he wanna marry rico errbody confused.

Btu rico was most confused. "once ler wut r u doin shouldn't u marry levi or mikasa cuz they strong. Im not strong. :((" once ler then looks up at rico, "EXCUSE U. I WANNA MARRY U CUZ U BUTTIFUL AND STRONG AND AMAZING OK FUCK MIKASA AND LEVI (not literally btw) CUZ UR BETTERR." Rico look up to him, "OK ONCE LER MARRY ME!" once ler looks up to rico once again, (damn how long are their necks) "OK RICO BBY MARRY ME! 33"

They have wedding in 1 week. In 1 week they marry. 1 week.

Ok so they have bachelor party or whatever but they like didn't know titan were near so like maybe 5 person die but it ok once ler was with them he kill them all.

Soon 1 week pass and rico is in wedding dress. "u look so buttiful today." rico look offened. "excuse u bitch u sayin I don't look buttiful everyday?!" once ler say, "no bby u just look more buttiful today ok u look buttiful everyday." "that's what I thought bitch"

Ok so once ler go out and go to thingy where he has to stand. Then rico come out with mi casa holding her hand. They head towards once ler. Once ler look more happy as she come closer. Then rico is next to him. Then finally the priest comez.

"ok so ya'll bitches wanna get married ok. AHEM.

Dearly beloved, we is gathered together here up in tha sight of God, n' up in tha grill of dis company, ta join together dis Man n' dis Biatch up in holy Matrimony; which be a honourable estate, instituted of God, signifyin unto our asses tha mystical union dat is betwixt Christ n' his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned n' beautified wit his thugged-out lil' presence n' first miracle dat da thug wrought up in Cana of Galilee, n' is commended of Saint Pizzle ta be honourable among all men: n' therefore aint by any ta be entered tha fuck into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, n' up in tha fear of Dogg. Into dis holy estate these two peeps present come now ta be joined. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If any playa can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let his ass now speak, or else hereafter fo' eva hold his thugged-out lil' peace.

also bustin lyrics unto tha Persons whoz ass is ta be married, da perved-out muthafucka shall say,

I REQUIRE n' charge you both, as ye will answer all up in tha dreadful dizzle of judgment when tha secretz of all hearts shall be disclosed, dat if either of y'all know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together up in Matrimony, ye do now confess dat shit. For be ye well assured, dat if any peeps is joined together other than as Godz Word doth allow, they marriage aint lwack naaahhmean, biatch?

Da Minister, if da perved-out muthafucka shall have reason ta doubt of tha lawfulnizz of tha proposed Marriage, may demand sufficient surety fo' his crazy-ass muthafuckin indemnification: but if no impediment shall be alleged, or suspected, tha Minsta shall say ta tha Man,

JOHN Wilt thou have dis Biatch ta thy wedded hoe, ta live together afta Godz ordinizzle up in tha holy estate of Matrimony, biatch? Wilt thou ludd her, comfort her, honour, n' keep her up in sicknizz n' up in health; and, forsakin all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live, biatch?

Da Man shall answer,

I will.

Then shall tha Minsta say unto tha Woman,

JANE Wilt thou have dis Man ta thy wedded homeboy, ta live together afta Godz ordinizzle up in tha holy estate of Matrimony, biatch? Wilt thou ludd him, comfort him, honour, n' keep his ass up in sicknizz n' up in health; and, forsakin all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live, biatch?

Da Biatch shall answer,

I will.

Then shall tha Minista say,

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck giveth dis Biatch ta be gangbangin dis Man, biatch?

Then shall they give they troth ta each other up in dis manner n' shit. Da Minister, receivin tha Biatch at her fatherz or playaz hands, shall cause tha Man wit his bangin right hand ta take tha Biatch by her right hand, n' ta say afta his ass as followeth.

I Jizzy take thee Jane ta mah wedded Wife, ta have n' ta hold from dis dizzle forward, fo' mo' betta fo' worse, fo' richer fo' skankyer, up in sicknizz n' up in health, ta ludd n' ta cherish, till dirtnap our asses do part, accordin ta Godz holy ordinance; n' thereto I plight thee mah troth.

Then shall they loose they hands; n' tha Biatch wit her right hand takin tha Man by his bangin right hand, shall likewise say afta tha Minister,

I Jane take thee Jizzy ta mah wedded Husband, ta have n' ta hold from dis dizzle forward, fo' mo' betta fo' worse, fo' richer fo' skankyer, up in sicknizz n' up in health, ta ludd n' ta cherish, till dirtnap our asses do part, accordin ta Godz holy ordinance; n' thereto I give thee mah troth.

Then shall they again n' again n' again loose they hands; n' tha Man shall give unto tha Biatch a Rin up in dis wise: tha Minista takin tha rang shall serve up it unto tha Man, ta put it upon tha fourth finger of tha Womanz left hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And tha Man holdin tha Rin there, n' taught by tha Minister, shall say,

WITH dis Rin I thee wed: In tha Name of tha Father, n' of tha Son, n' of tha Holy Pimp fo' realz. Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

And, before deliverin tha Rin ta tha Man, tha Minista may say as followeth,

BLESS, O Lord, dis Ring, dat da thug whoz ass gives it n' dat biiiiatch whoz ass wears it may abide up in thy peace, n' continue up in they favour, unto they gamez end; all up in Jizzy Christ our Lord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Then, tha Man, leavin tha Rin upon tha fourth finger of tha Womanz left hand, tha Minista shall say,

Let our asses pray.

Then shall tha Minista n' People, still standing, say tha Lordz Prayer n' shit.

OUR Father, whoz ass art up in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Mackdaddydom come. Thy is ghon be done, On Ghetto as it is up in heaven. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Give our asses dis dizzle our everyday bread. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And forgive our asses our trespasses, As we forgive dem playas whoz ass trespass against our asses fo' realz. And lead our asses not tha fuck into temptation, But serve up our asses from evil. For thine is tha mackdaddydom, n' tha power, n' tha glory, fo' eva n' eva n' shiznit fo' realz. Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Then shall tha Minista add,

O ETERNAL God, Creator n' Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, tha Lyricist of everlastin game; Send thy blessin upon these thy servants, dis Man n' dis Woman, whom we bless up in thy Name; dat they, livin faithfully together, may surely big-ass up n' keep tha vow n' covenant betwixt dem made, (whereof dis Rin given n' received be a token n' pledge,) n' may eva remain up in slick ludd n' peace together, n' live accordin ta thy laws; all up in Jizzy Christ our Lord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Then tha Minista may add,

O GOD, whoz ass hast so consecrated tha state of Matrimony dat up in it is rep resented tha spiritual marriage n' unitizzle betwixt Christ n' his Church; Look mercifully upon these thy servants, dat they may love, honour, n' cherish each other, n' so live together up in faithfulnizz n' patience, up in wisdom n' legit godliness, dat they home may be a haven of blessin n' of peace; all up in tha same Jizzy Christ our Lord, whoz ass liveth n' reigneth wit thee n' tha Holy Spirit ever, one God, ghetto without end yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin' fo' realz. Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Then shall tha Minista join they right handz together, n' say,

Those whom Dogg hath joined together let no playa put asunder n' shit.

Then shall tha Minista drop a rhyme unto tha company.

FORASMUCH as Jizzy n' Jane have consented together up in holy wedlock, n' have witnessed tha same before Dogg n' dis company, n' thereto have given n' pledged they troth, each ta tha other, n' have declared tha same by givin n' receivin a Ring, n' by joinin hands; I pronounce dat they is Man n' Wife, In tha Name of tha Father, n' of tha Son, n' of tha Holy Pimp fo' realz. Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Da Man n' tha Wife kneeling, tha Minista shall add dis Blessing.

GOD tha Father, Dogg tha Son, Dogg tha Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, n' keep you; tha Lord mercifully wit his wild lil' favour look upon you, n' fill you wit all spiritual benediction n' grace; dat ye may so live together up in dis game, dat up in tha ghetto ta come ye may have game everlastin fo' realz. Amen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

End u bitches marred"

Once ler and rico kiss.

End of chap 1


End file.
